Strangers or Friends – Who Do We Trust More?
Are strangers strange, and why do I know more about my social media ‘friends’ than I do about my neighbors. To be honest, I have only met one of my neighbors and I can’t remember her name. On the other hand, I have thousands of followers on Facebook and hundreds on Instagram. Apart from a handful of old friends, you know those people you knew before the invention of social media, and my family, my screens are full of images, stories, ‘reel’s and the like, posted by people who I really don’t know.
And that does feel strange.
Developing trust wherever you hang out is crucial to our sense of well-being and security. Remember in the old days when your neighbor might pop over for a cup of sugar? You would then introduce yourselves, have a chat about the weather and maybe even make a new friend.
Being a Good Neighbor
Well, that really doesn’t happen anymore, but being a good neighbor is still important. According to PR Newswire, 79% of Americans cite being ‘friendly to other neighbors’ as a top quality to have.
Would you send a private message to your neighbor congratulating them on the birth of their child or send a note to another because they had a new puppy? No, but you would flood strangers’ timelines with clapping hands, starry-eyed faces and heart-shaped emojis.
Experts have told us for many years that communication and trust between human beings is 90% unsaid. We communicate most of what we want to say using body language. Think about that for a few seconds. How then do we establish trust online with total strangers from countries and cultures across the world?
The answer is images.
The Significance of Images
A picture paints a thousand words, ask any advertising executive. Social media is predominantly images. Pictures of people’s dogs, cats, their kids, the scenery of their daily walk – the list is endless. We have all shared them. I am as guilty as the next person. My feed is awash with memories of my Border collie as a puppy, the new family of ducklings at the lake where I walk said Border collie and so much more.
Once I moved house and shared an image of me watching TV surrounded by packing boxes. A week later, I shared a similar image in my new home watching the same television program, stating nothing much had changed, and I had moved over 300 miles. Then I added ‘lol’ to ensure readers knew I was joking and not complaining.
Today’s Cup of Sugar
I often think the images we share online are today’s cup of sugar. We use them to introduce ourselves to the world. Here’s me, moving house, packing up my stuff and I’m still watching the same crime drama, doing what you are all doing only in a new house. Look, here’s an image of my dog going for his walk – see, I’m just like you. I love my dog, I enjoy my local area and I do ordinary things, just like you.
Even if I mess up and share something you don’t like or share something political you don’t agree with, you’re going to give me the benefit of the doubt because you know me, right?
We shared your kid’s birthdays, I sent you a message of condolence when your grandfather passed away, I congratulated you to the moon and back when you purchased a new car – I gave you all those cups of sugar! You know me, you trust me and I’m a good person. But what does that really mean?
Judging Others Online
The one thing all those strangers who are my ‘friends’ or who ‘follow’ me (and let’s face it, if they did that in real life it would be strange and very creepy!), is they don’t rush to judge. They give me the benefit of doubt. But is that because I am a good person, or because I know how to manipulate what they are seeing so they accept me? Or do I have a burning desire to be loved and accepted by everyone?
Probably all of the above, to be honest.
Social media has undoubtedly changed our lives forever. Some of us no longer seek real human contact or want to make real friends. Instead, many of us are happy to showcase how wonderful we are by selectively showing images that we know others will approve of.
It is strange, isn’t it? The way we attach ourselves to strangers online and develop meaningful relationships with people we’ve never met while avoiding eye contact with the man across the street. But is making friends online necessarily a bad thing?
The Good in Social Media
Social media allows people with anxiety issues to meet, engage in communities and be part of something greater than themselves. We find our tribe on social media much quicker than going door to door, asking for a cup of sugar. Your tribe is only a hashtag away.
So, if you’re interested in taking this conversation further, look me up. Google ‘Susan Day Author’ and we can chat about our shared love of writing, saving the environment and our pets. It’ll be fun and we won’t ever have to ever look each other in the eye or test whether either of us has a fully stocked pantry of sugar.
Susan Day is an art therapist practitioner, author and artist. She has years of experience writing articles for websites and once edited a literary magazine. Susan is enthralled with the power of art and the written word to change people’s lives. Sadly, due to her reckless youth she has had to cut down on her sugar intake these days, but you can find her books on Amazon and read more about the power of art therapy on her website – mindfulartstherapy.com.au